I genuinely feel that work is taking over my life. And no i dont mean it in the typical teenage sense that ‘oh, i could be watching tv right now or discussing my gap yah’- which yes, i would love to spend time doing. But the real reason why I feel that it’s taking over my life is that it is genuinely stopping me from catching up with friends and sticking to promises that i probably know i’ll never be able to keep.
The thing is that i really want to be seeing my friends and catching up, chatting about the latest gossip or just having generally lazy days in the park. Even a phone conversation here or there would do, but the amount of work i have genuinely doesnt allow for me to do that with all the people i want to do it with. Sure, i have time for a half hour chat with one person in a day- but what about all the other people i want to catch up with/discuss something with/see/counsel/laugh with?
And the thing is that i make arrangements with people in hope that i will actually be able to see them through; even if i know its unrealistic, i make them purely to help me live through the day, hoping in vain that i one day will be able to keep them.
So if any of you reading this feel that i have been annoyingly flakey lately (more than usual that is, im not completely delusional) then hopefully this post will help somewhat in explaining it. Believe me, its me missing out way more than you.
And for all you cynics thinking ‘everyone has work and they have time for me, how come you dont?’ well the answer is simply that, i have to get AAA. Yes, other people have to, maybe it comes easier to them than to me? or maybe they work better with cramming? And yes, for some people getting BBB is just as difficult as it is for me getting AAA, but i guess what im trying to say is that i cant just cram in the last week and expect amazing results. I can only really succeed when i put in the real work, lasting longer than an evening revision sesh the night before.
So it really is true- everyone is different and therefore everyone needs different revision schedules and everyone has different ways of dealing with stress.
But i guess what im trying to say is that i love spending time with those of you that i cant see so much at the moment. and me being a flake and/or annoyingly unavailable is in no way you’re fault, or even my fault for that matter. Blame nottingham uni for its ridiculously high grade boundaries.
Of course, this post all goes on the assumption that anyone actually cares a) where i am b) what i’m feeling or c) why i havent responded to plans for meet ups. So if that isn’t the case feel free to let me know.
loveeeeeeeee xxxxxx